寒假的尾巴/The end of the winter break

結果情緒很低落。

從來不曾這個樣子。是因為冬天回台北一趟見了親愛的家人和朋友，感受到一個人在國外的孤單？是時差讓身體疲倦連帶地讓心靈也疲倦？還是年紀漸長對漂泊厭了？抑或是最近工作上沒什麼進度和成就，對自己灰心？從台灣回米國時還有馬克陪在我身邊，但接近要回愛和華時，常常忍不住就流淚了。開車回愛和華的路上，從下雪天開到晴天再開到雨天再開到陰天，心情也是起起伏伏，又哭了好幾次。

今天終於感覺比較好。公寓已經收拾整齊乾淨，可以迎接新學期的忙碌與壓力。2014年最大的願望：研究順利完成。

要加油，一定可以的。

And I was in a terrible mood.

I had never been like this before.  Was it because of the trip back to Taiwan seeing my beloved friends and family, that made me realize the loneliness when staying in the US by myself?  Or the jet lag that made me tired physically and hence mentally?  Perhaps it was because of aging?  Or the stress, frustration, and lack of progress from work and research?  On the way back to the US, I still had Mark with me.  As it got closer to going back to Iowa City, I teared more frequently.  Driving on the highway to Iowa City, my emotion was just like the weather - from snow to sunshine to rain to cloudy day.

Today I finally feel much better.  My apartment is clean and is ready for the the pressure of the new semester.  My biggest resolution of 2014: finishing my 2nd year paper.

Have faith.  I can make it.